Thursday, September 2, 2010

Only in America

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house
faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink...

3. Only in drugstores make the sick walk
all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at the front.

4. Only in people order double cheese
burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in banks leave safe doors open
and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in we leave cars worth thousands
of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in
the garage.

7. Only in we use answering machines to
screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in
the first place.

8. Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of
ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in we use the word "politics" to
describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning
"many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

10. Only in they have drive-up ATM
machines with Braille lettering..

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